more than enough

Walking through Barnes and Noble today and I pass by a section called Special Needs Children. I didn’t even know they had a section like that. Scanning the shelves for something that might be interesting or insightful, I find this book. I’d been wanting to read it for a while now. I’ve followed the author’s blog for a few years and really love her writing.

I grabbed the book and found a corner of a windowsill to camp out for a bit and read. After an hour of reading I can hardly keep myself together and not start bawling. I mean, I know I’m already crazy, but I don’t need perfect strangers to know it too.

This book is amazing. I am now inclined to buy it because I must finish it! This momma shares the story of the birth of her second child. A little girl, who is born with Down Syndrome. An amazing, perfect baby and her story and the story of her family and the unknown and the way their lives are changed forever. And I am in awe at the real in her words. I am in awe of their wonderful daughter who will do big things, unlimited and not defined by that extra chromosome.

And that’s the way it should be. I’m a nanny-for two beautiful girls who just turned one over the past few months. They have changed me over the last 9 months. They’ve taught me so much about myself and about how much joy and fun there is in this life. One of these sweet ones was born with a chromosomal deletion. So picking up this book to read today really hit me in a different way. In a way that reminds me of the amazing girl in my life-who daily shows me what life is really about.

Guys-she is one of the most joyful children you will ever meet. She has this peaceful little smile on her face. She giggles when you pull out her favorite pink doggie and make him say “woof”. She looks deep into your eyes, full of wonder, with her captivating baby blues. She rolls from side to side and is one of the best snugglers ever.

And I am so amazed at her strength. She works so hard at everything. Therapies, eating, you name it. She may not enjoy it, but she does it. And it gives me strength to do things I never thought I could.

She may not be walking yet. Or sitting or some of the other things you'd expect a 1-year-old to do. But she’s getting there in her own time. And she’s just a fun-loving, happy girl. She’s amazing. And I never ever want there to be a day that anyone tells her otherwise. Because she is going to do great things in this life-I know that much.

I may not ever do any big things on this earth. I may not ever have a fancy degree, or an awesome career. And that’s alright. As long as I’ve been there for these girls. Given them the snuggles, read the books and acted silly for them-that’s enough for me. As long as I’ve been there and I’ve told them how much they are loved. That they will do great things and that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, then I’ve done all I need to. They are helping to show me the important things in life, the joy in the little things. And I couldn’t be more grateful. Watching them grow has helped shape me into a better person.

I used to tell people what I did as a “job” with a slight bit of shame in my words. Like it wasn’t enough. But after meeting these two girls and their parents, I know that it is quite the opposite. It is more than enough for me and it’s right where I am supposed to be. 

Looking Ahead

I can't seem to get around to writing posts much anymore. But seeing as it's already a new year, I thought it was well past time for me to write. That and I finally have a free, quiet evening to myself. Perfection.

Looking back on this past year, I am feeling content and absolutely amazed at the goodness of God. And finding it hard to believe it's already a new year. It just keeps going. Faster than the previous year. 

2012 was a year full of change and new and I wouldn't want it any other way. I started a new job in April [so thankful at how this all worked out]. Got married in May [one of the highlights of the year, certainly] and have spent the remainder of the year balancing life. My husband and I are figuring out this marriage thing and having so much fun. I can hardly believe it's almost been almost 8 months. The Lord has been so faithful to us. My sister went to Uganda [she's still there for 2 more months!]. All in all, it was one great year. Full of new and change. And that's always been hard for me. That word...change. But whether welcomed or not, change happens and I'm learning how to embrace it. Because I know One who is constant. He is all I need.

Over the past 9 months I've also been a part of the lives of 2 little girls. They are having their 1st Birthdays. I can't believe that. They take my breath away, nearly every day. And keep me laughing. And learning. Always something new. I've learned how to rejoice in the little things. Waiting months for a little one to find her toes and roll from side to side-it brings a joy I can hardly explain. I've seen first steps, independence. So many smiles and giggles. It's been amazing. They've shown me a strength in myself I never knew I had. Instead of saying "I can't", I find myself asking "what next?" these days. 

Looking ahead to this year, 2013, I'm sure there will be some changes. And also a lot of sameness. I have no expectations. I am not in charge and I think I'm finally starting to understand that more fully. Life is what it is. I can spend my days fretting and trying to chart out my days, or I can just live them. I want to  choose to live these days and enjoy them. Because [as I see more and more each year] the time goes by so quickly. I don't want to miss out on any of this precious time. 

These days I see more school. For me and my husband [I am back in school at this time-albeit extremely part-time]. It's exciting! I see myself moving from the days of watching babies, to newly-turned toddlers. There will be more weddings to attend. An anniversary to be celebrated. Birthdays. Sister reunions. There will also be those quiet evenings snuggled and chatting. The drifting to sleep with the sound of fingers picking strings on the guitar. Repetitive but familiar, sweet sounds. There will be friends and family and homework and life. And it's all so lovely. 

May 19th 2012. Photo Credit: Michal Seeland

But most importantly, this year I see a God who is so good in the change, in the familiar and in the uncertainty. Throughout it all He is walking this road with us. He has good plans and He loves us.  And because of that I can look ahead to this year with joy and confidence and hope for what is to come.

Things I'm learning

My husband and I have been married for about 4.5 months. That may not seem like a long time, but over these past 4.5 months we've already learned a lot. Marriage is fun. Marriage is a blessing. It is hard. It is work. It is a constant learning experience. A molding, shaping and growing of a person. A couple. And I think it's totally worth it.

I want to be able to share the experience and advice and thoughts [how inexperienced we may still be] with others who are considering entering a relationship with the intention of marriage. I would love to be an encouragement to even one person who is in this stage as a newlywed, or who may still be engaged or who is still waiting for the person God has for them. I have been praying for a way to be able to share and I realized how wonderful of an outlet blogging can be.

My blog is mostly read by family and friends [you guys are great!], but I know there are lurkers to my blog as well and I just want to say I hope that my thoughts might bless even one of you today.

In no particular order, here are just a few of the things I've been learning since May..

First of all-One of the most important things [I think] is to enter into your marriage [relationship even] with the knowledge that your spouse was not created to fulfill your every desire or need. To love you perfectly or even to make you happy. Only God can do that. And that's the way it ought to be. I thought I had fully learned that prior to saying "I do" but sometimes I still find myself spinning in circles trying to remember my husband just can't do everything for me. And neither can I for him

Communication is huge. Say how you feel and share any thoughts or feelings. You'll regret not doing it, because miscommunication almost always leads to hurt feelings or misunderstandings.

Learn how to love your spouse in their love language. This is still a hard one for me. What is one person's love language usually isn't the other persons. And that can be difficult. My top love language is affirming words, my husbands-quality time. Learning that takes work, I've seen. We're still working on that.

Enjoy any time you have together. This has been so huge for us. While we dated, it was easy to plan time together-the weekends after Pete was home from school was "our time". Now that's not so much the case... In between work and school and commuting and life, taking time out together can be easy to push aside. Planning time to put away the school books or say no to making sure the apartment is spotless just to talk or watch a movie together can make a world of difference.

You don't have to agree on everything. We are all different and that's a good thing. Just knowing how to work out differences in an effective way is important. I don't know if this can ever be 100% mastered, but I think it's definitely worth the effort.

Listen to the advice of couples that are older than you [ie: More experienced/have been at this marriage thing longer than you]. Their wisdom is important and shouldn't be dismissed.

God provides. This one is HUGE. If we had listened to the people who said it would be too hard to make it [not matter how loving their intentions] and waited until a "better time", then we would have missed out on seeing the provision and the blessings that have been given to us. We've learned trust in a new way. I know society doesn't really embrace young marriage, sadly, and I know how difficult and easily swayed and hurt you can be by the rude remarks or the ignorance of it. I pray that would change-being married at 20 can work. It is possible. Trust me on that one.

Lastly [though my mind is swirling with thoughts even still], remember to pray together and read scripture together. This is something that also tends to get easily neglected, sadly, but I believe that the only way my husband and I can be close and walking together is if our relationship with the Lord is close and at the center. He created marriage, so He knows all about it. Why would I neglect that wonderful truth?

Marriage has been such an adventure already, as I imagine it always will be. And I look forward to the coming days and months and years.

Menu for October 1st-October 5th 2012

The meal plan is such a big blessing to my husband and I. I have to keep on raving on how amazing it has been for us, because without it I know dinner time would be a big mess! While there are some days we stray from it, it's so good to know it's there for most nights. We know what's for dinner and we have all the ingredients on hand.

Last week was a little busier than we'd expected, and so frozen pizzas made an appearance a few times. While trying not to do that too often, we often keep one on hand always just in case. And some nights that is very nice.

So for this week's meal plan we have..

Monday: Leftovers or a Frozen Pizza (Mondays are just one of those days).
Tuesday: Crockpot Baked Potatoes with toppings
Wednesday: 20-minute Minestrone  [using vegetables from my Grandpa's garden!] with rolls of some sort...maybe these?
Thursday: Leftovers
Friday: Healthy Mac n Cheese with some vegetables and leftover shredded chicken.


Check out The Organizing Junkie for more meal plans and tips!

Simple thoughts

I can't think of a title for this post. Maybe if I think or one by the end of typing it, I'll write it down. Otherwise this will just be an untitled post.

My sister wrote a thought-provoking blog post today [yesterday?]. About wanting to be where God wants  you, even if it means giving up your comforts and wants. I think that's a pretty good place to be. Wherever you are in life. I'm still trying to figure it out in my life. You can read her thoughts here.

Though the day she described as wanting was exactly what my Saturday was. And to be honest,  I am grateful for being able to enjoy those things. The hot shower, the comfy clothes. The baking in the kitchen, sweet smells of bread in the oven and yogurt in the crockpot [we'll see how that works out] and granola bars on the stove. I got the Thomas Newman playing in the background and my latest knitting project sitting next to me. And it is very peaceful. It's actually made me think of my sister, all the way in Uganda sleeping away, a lot today.

Some days it's actually nice to be stuck indoors. Feeling quite under the weather over this weekend. It's been quiet with lots of resting and laying low. Sometimes you just need to slow things down a little bit.

There's a tree right outside the window of our apartment that I love. You know that though, I believe I've mentioned it before yes? Well, I love it. At first it just seemed to be in the way of a view, but now it is the view. The view I want to see at least. If you pretend hard enough, it seems to cover all the other buildings around us. You can almost imagine you aren't in the middle of a city full of noise and busy. I even snapped a picture of it, in all of it's glory. But I can't seem to figure out how to download it to the computer. One day I'll have to post a picture, because despite being in downtown Chicago the campus of Moody is beautiful in the Fall. The trees are just now starting to change colors, ever so slightly. And it makes me happy.


I start a medical terminology course in a few weeks. It's funny how things work out. I've started and quit school way too many times over the past few years. I think 18 was way too young for me to decide what I wanted to do about any sort of "career". While 18 wasn't too young for me to decide I was ready to be married. Everyone is different, but sadly school is just one of those things most every 18-year-old is pressured to do. Even if they aren't ready. And in my case, it led to a lot of wasted time and frustration. The only thing I wanted [and still want] is to be a wife and mother [if God gives me that blessing]. Up until now, every school path I've taken has never worked out. The timing wasn't right or the feeling was never quite good. Recently though, I've been really reflecting on one specific area of studying and feel like it's something that maybe I'd like to pursue. Who knows? That may not work either, but I'm open to it. And after praying it over and with my husband we decided to jump into it-one step at a time. One thing I do know though-is school, no matter how much or how little of it I get, will never ever define who I am. It doesn't make me and less or any more. It's not where my priorities lie and I am fine with that.

Well, here's a lot of simple little thoughts about a lot of different things and they seem to be turning into a novel. So I will end here and go see how my crockpot yogurt turned out. :)

Almost Fall!

The days are starting to get shorter. It's dark when I wake up in the morning for work, and the sun is already going down when I get home.

There's a cool breeze in the air, a sweet smell of leaves and Autumn approaching.

The long shirts and pants have rotated back into the closets, the sundresses and skirts [almost] all packed away.

The afternoon walks are getting cooler. The girls are bundled in their sweaters and darling little hats, one safely tucked in her stroller, the other strapped to me. We hunt for leaves, little T holding onto them ever so tightly,  like they are her treasure she has to guard.

My husband and I just had our first official [what I have named] "Fall-type meal". Baked chicken with mashed potatoes. And apple pockets. Absolutely lovely.

Late nights with homework and book reading while drinking tea together are starting to become the norm around here. [we love our tea].

I can't wait to start grabbing my long skirts and tights out of the closet. I love wearing skirts, and it's so much easier in the summertime. But I've found a few skirts I think will work just fine for cooler weather. Thank goodness too, because they are so much more comfortable than pants!

Fall has to be my favorite season. My pinterest page is already filling with warm, hearty meals to try. Desserts using apple and pumpkin and fun ideas for the season.

I love the there is change in seasons. It's a constant, the seasons will always change. And there are beautiful things throughout each season. Just like in the seasons of life. It's always moving, always changing but when we look [sometimes having to look very hard], we can usually find something wonderful wherever season we find ourselves in.

Happy [almost] Fall, guys!

What is your favorite thing about Fall? Please do share!

Meal Plan 9/17-9/22

It's another week, so here is another week of meals! Last week was a pretty quiet week as far as cooking was concerned. We had a lot of leftovers, had my husband's parents here for an evening [and they brought dinner!] and had a few more busy evenings than we thought so those nights are on your own nights.

This week, however, looks like a week of more cooking, and I hardly had to get anything at the store for them either [does it get any better?].  And so we will be having:

Monday: Leftover baked mac-n-cheese from the weekend [this has always been one of our favorties-it's worth the work].
Tuesday: Pizza [the best crust/sauce recipe ever!]
Wednesday: Chicken with mashed potatoes and vegetables.
Thursday: Leftovers or Breakfast for dinner.
Friday: Pasta bake.

And like usual-breakfast and lunches are on your own. Pete is generally in class and I am working so lots of sandwiches, leftovers, yogurt, fruit and granola bars and oatmeal for these meals. *This upcoming weekend I am going to try a whole bunch of new Pinterest finds and see how they go-homemade yogurt, granola bars and graham crackers!*

Find more meal plans at the Organizing Junkie!